LETTER FROM BIRMINGHAM JAIL

Letter from Birmingham jail MY DEAR FELLOW CLERGYMEN: While confined here in the Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent statement calling my present activities “unwise and untimely.” Seldom do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would have little time for anything other than such correspondence in the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work. But since I feel that you are men of genuine good will and that your criticisms are sincerely set forth, I want to try to answer your statements in what I hope will be patient and reasonable terms. I think I should indicate why I am here In Birmingham, since you have been influenced by the view which argues against “outsiders coming in.” I have the honor of serving as president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, an organization operating in every southern state, with headquarters in Atlanta , Georgia . We have some eighty-five affiliated organizations across the South, and one of them is the Alabama Christian Movement for Human Rights. Frequently we share staff, educational and financial resources with our affiliates. Several months ago the affiliate here in Birmingham asked us to be on call to engage in a nonviolent direct-action program if such were deemed necessary. We readily consented, and when the hour came we lived up to our promise. So I, along with several members of my staff, am here because I was invited here I am here because I have organizational ties here. But more basically, I am in Birmingham because injustice is here. Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their “thus saith the Lord” far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco-Roman world, so am I. compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid. Moreover, I am cognizant of the interrelatedness of all communities and states. I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned about what happens in Birmingham . Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial “outside agitator” idea. Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds. You deplore the demonstrations taking place In Birmingham. But your statement, I am sorry to say, fails to express a similar concern for the conditions that brought about the demonstrations. I am sure that none of you would want to rest content with the superficial kind of social analysis that deals merely with effects and does not grapple with underlying causes. It is unfortunate that demonstrations are taking place in Birmingham , but it is even more unfortunate that the city’s white power structure left the Negro community with no alternative. In any nonviolent campaign there are four basic steps: collection of the facts to determine whether injustices exist; negotiation; self-purification; and direct action. We have gone through a these steps in Birmingham . There can be no gainsaying the fact that racial injustice engulfs this community. Birmingham is probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States . Its ugly record of brutality is widely known. Negroes have experienced grossly unjust treatment in the courts. There have been more unsolved bombings of Negro homes and churches in Birmingham than in any other city in the nation. These are the hard, brutal facts of the case. On the basis of these conditions, Negro leaders sought to negotiate with the city fathers. But the latter consistently refused to engage in good-faith negotiation. Then, last September, came the opportunity to talk with leaders of Birmingham ‘s economic community. In the course of the negotiations, certain promises were made by the merchants — for example, to remove the stores humiliating racial signs. On the basis of these promises, the Reverend Fred Shuttles worth and the leaders of the Alabama Christian Movement for Human Rights agreed to a moratorium on all demonstrations. As the weeks and months went by, we realized that we were the victims of a broken promise. A few signs, briefly removed, returned; the others remained. As in so many past experiences, our hopes bad been blasted, and the shadow of deep disappointment settled upon us. We had no alternative except to prepare for direct action, whereby we would present our very bodies as a means of laying our case before the conscience of the local and the national community. Mindful of the difficulties involved, we decided to undertake a process of self-purification. We began a series of workshops on nonviolence, and we repeatedly asked ourselves: “Are you able to accept blows without retaliating?” “Are you able to endure the ordeal of jail?” We decided to schedule our direct-action program for the Easter season, realizing that except for Christmas, this is the main shopping period of the year. Knowing that a strong economic with with-drawal program would be the by-product of direct action, we felt that this would be the best time to bring pressure to bear on the merchants for the needed change. Then it occurred to us that Birmingham ‘s mayoralty election was coming up in March, and we speedily decided to postpone action until after Election Day. When we discovered that the Commissioner of Public Safety, Eugene “Bull” Connor, had piled up enough votes to be in the run-oat we decided again to postpone action until the day after the run-off so that the demonstrations could not be used to cloud the issues. Like many others, we waited to see Mr. Connor defeated, and to this end we endured postponement after postponement. Having aided in this community need, we felt that our direct-action program could be delayed no longer. You may well ask: “Why direct action? Why sit-ins, marches and so forth? Isn’t negotiation a better path?” You are quite right in calling, for negotiation. Indeed, this is the very purpose of direct action. Nonviolent direct action seeks to create such a crisis and foster such a tension that a community which has constantly refused to negotiate is forced to confront the issue. It seeks so to dramatize the issue that it can no longer be ignored. My citing the creation of tension as part of the work of the nonviolent-resister may sound rather shocking. But I must confess that I am not afraid of the word “tension.” I have earnestly opposed violent tension, but there is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth. Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half-truths to the unfettered realm of creative analysis and objective appraisal, we must we see the need for nonviolent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood. The purpose of our direct-action program is to create a situation so crisis-packed that it will inevitably open the door to negotiation. I therefore concur with you in your call for negotiation. Too long has our beloved Southland been bogged down in a tragic effort to live in monologue rather than dialogue. One of the basic points in your statement is that the action that I and my associates have taken in Birmingham is untimely. Some have asked: “Why didn’t you give the new city administration time to act?” The only answer that I can give to this query is that the new Birmingham administration must be prodded about as much as the outgoing one, before it will act. We are sadly mistaken if we feel that the election of Albert Bout well as mayor will bring the millennium to Birmingham . While Mr. Bout well is a much more gentle person than Mr. Connor, they are both segregationists, dedicated to maintenance of the status quo. I have hope that Mr. Bout well will be reasonable enough to see the futility of massive resistance to desegregation. But he will not see this without pressure from devotees of civil rights. My friends, I must say to you that we have not made a single gain civil rights without determined legal and nonviolent pressure. Lamentably, it is an historical fact that privileged groups seldom give up their privileges voluntarily. Individuals may see the moral light and voluntarily give up their unjust posture; but, as Reinhold Niebuhr has reminded us, groups tend to be more immoral than individuals. We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct-action campaign that was “well timed” in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word “Wait!” It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This “Wait” has almost always meant ‘Never.” We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that “justice too long delayed is justice denied.” We have waited for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God-given rights. The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jet like speed toward gaining political independence, but we stiff creep at horse-and-buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging dark of segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-old daughter why she can’t go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five-year-old son who is asking: “Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?”; when you take a cross-county drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading “white” and “colored”; when your first name becomes “nigger,” your middle name becomes “boy” (however old you are) and your last name becomes “John,” and your wife and mother are never given the respected title “Mrs.”; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you no forever fighting a degenerating sense of “nobodiness” then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair. I hope, sirs, you can understand our legitimate and unavoidable impatience. You express a great deal of anxiety over our willingness to break laws. This is certainly a legitimate concern. Since we so diligently urge people to obey the Supreme Court’s decision of 1954 outlawing segregation in the public schools, at first glance it may seem rather paradoxical for us consciously to break laws. One may won ask: “How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?” The answer lies in the fact that there fire two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the Brat to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that “an unjust law is no law at all” Now, what is the difference between the two? How does one determine whether a law is just or unjust? A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law. To put it in the terms of St. Thomas Aquinas: An unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal law and natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust. All segregation statutes are unjust because segregation distort the soul and damages the personality. It gives the segregator a false sense of superiority and the segregated a false sense of inferiority. Segregation, to use the terminology of the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber, substitutes an “I-it” relationship for an “I-thou” relationship and ends up relegating persons to the status of things. Hence segregation is not only politically, economically and sociologically unsound, it is morally wrong and awful. Paul Tillich said that sin is separation. Is not segregation an existential expression ‘of man’s tragic separation, his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness? Thus it is that I can urge men to obey the 1954 decision of the Supreme Court, for it is morally right; and I can urge them to disobey segregation ordinances, for they are morally wrong. Let us consider a more concrete example of just and unjust laws. An unjust law is a code that a numerical or power majority group compels a minority group to obey but does not make binding on itself. This is difference made legal. By the same token, a just law is a code that a majority compels a minority to follow and that it is willing to follow itself. This is sameness made legal. Let me give another explanation. A law is unjust if it is inflicted on a minority that, as a result of being denied the right to vote, had no part in enacting or devising the law. Who can say that the legislature of Alabama which set up that state’s segregation laws was democratically elected? Throughout Alabama all sorts of devious methods are used to prevent Negroes from becoming registered voters, and there are some counties in which, even though Negroes constitute a majority of the population, not a single Negro is registered. Can any law enacted under such circumstances be considered democratically structured? Sometimes a law is just on its face and unjust in its application. For instance, I have been arrested on a charge of parading without a permit. Now, there is nothing wrong in having an ordinance which requires a permit for a parade. But such an ordinance becomes unjust when it is used to maintain segregation and to deny citizens the First Amendment privilege of peaceful assembly and protest. I hope you are able to ace the distinction I am trying to point out. In no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law, as would the rabid segregationist. That would lead to anarchy. One who breaks an unjust law must do so openly, lovingly, and with a willingness to accept the penalty. I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law. Of course, there is nothing new about this kind of civil disobedience. It was evidenced sublimely in the refusal of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego to obey the laws of Nebuchadnezzar, on the ground that a higher moral law was at stake. It was practiced superbly by the early Christians, who were willing to face hungry lions and the excruciating pain of chopping blocks rather than submit to certain unjust laws of the Roman Empire . To a degree, academic freedom is a reality today because Socrates practiced civil disobedience. In our own nation, the Boston Tea Party represented a massive act of civil disobedience. We should never forget that everything Adolf Hitler did in Germany was “legal” and everything the Hungarian freedom fighters did in Hungary was “illegal.” It was “illegal” to aid and comfort a Jew in Hitler’s Germany . Even so, I am sure that, had I lived in Germany at the time, I would have aided and comforted my Jewish brothers. If today I lived in a Communist country where certain principles dear to the Christian faith are suppressed, I would openly advocate disobeying that country’s antireligious laws. I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection. I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and that when they fan in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress. I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that the present tension in the South is a necessary phase of the transition from an obnoxious negative peace, in which the Negro passively accepted his unjust plight, to a substantive and positive peace, in which all men will respect the dignity and worth of human personality. Actually, we who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with an its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured. In your statement you assert that our actions, even though peaceful, must be condemned because they precipitate violence. But is this a logical assertion? Isn’t this like condemning a robbed man because his possession of money precipitated the evil act of robbery? Isn’t this like condemning Socrates because his unswerving commitment to truth and his philosophical inquiries precipitated the act by the misguided populace in which they made him drink hemlock? Isn’t this like condemning Jesus because his unique God-consciousness and never-ceasing devotion to God’s will precipitated the evil act of crucifixion? We must come to see that, as the federal courts have consistently affirmed, it is wrong to urge an individual to cease his efforts to gain his basic constitutional rights because the quest may precipitate violence. Society must protect the robbed and punish the robber. I had also hoped that the white moderate would reject the myth concerning time in relation to the struggle for freedom. I have just received a letter from a white brother in Texas . He writes: “An Christians know that the colored people will receive equal rights eventually, but it is possible that you are in too great a religious hurry. It has taken Christianity almost two thousand years to accomplish what it has. The teachings of Christ take time to come to earth.” Such an attitude stems from a tragic misconception of time, from the strangely rational notion that there is something in the very flow of time that will inevitably cure all ills. Actually, time itself is neutral; it can be used either destructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of good will. We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co-workers with God, and without this ‘hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right. Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy and transform our pending national elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. Now is the time to lift our national policy from the quicksand of racial injustice to 6e solid rock of human dignity. You speak of our activity in Birmingham as extreme. At fist I was rather disappointed that fellow clergymen would see my nonviolent efforts as those of an extremist. I began thinking about the fact that stand in the middle of two opposing forces in the Negro community. One is a force of complacency, made up in part of Negroes who, as a result of long years of oppression, are so drained of self-respect and a sense of “somebodiness” that they have adjusted to segregation; and in part of a few middle class Negroes who, because of a degree of academic and economic security and because in some ways they profit by segregation, have become insensitive to the problems of the masses. The other force is one of bitterness and hatred, and it comes perilously close to advocating violence. It is expressed in the various black nationalist groups that are springing up across the nation, the largest and best-known being Elijah Muhammad’s Muslim movement. Nourished by the Negro’s frustration over the continued existence of racial discrimination, this movement is made up of people who have lost faith in America , who have absolutely repudiated Christianity, and who have concluded that the white man is an incorrigible “devil.” I have tried to stand between these two forces, saying that we need emulate neither the “do-nothingism” of the complacent nor the hatred and despair of the black nationalist. For there is the more excellent way of love and nonviolent protest. I am grateful to God that, through the influence of the Negro church, the way of nonviolence became an integral part of our struggle. If this philosophy had not emerged, by now many streets of the South would, I am convinced, be flowing with blood. And I am further convinced that if our white brothers dismiss as “rabble-rousers” and “outside agitators” those of us who employ nonviolent direct action, and if they refuse to support our nonviolent efforts, millions of Negroes will, out of frustration and despair, seek solace and security in black-nationalist ideologies a development that would inevitably lead to a frightening racial nightmare. Oppressed people cannot remain oppressed forever. The yearning for freedom eventually manifests itself, and that is what has happened to the American Negro. Something within has reminded him of his birthright of freedom, and something without has reminded him that it can be gained. Consciously or unconsciously, he has been caught up by the Zeitgeist, and with his black brothers of Africa and his brown and yellow brothers of Asia, South America and the Caribbean , the United States Negro is moving with a sense of great urgency toward the promised land of racial justice. If one recognizes this vital urge that has engulfed the Negro community, one should readily understand why public demonstrations are taking place. The Negro has many pent-up resentments and latent frustrations, and he must release them. So let him march; let him make prayer pilgrimages to the city hall; let him go on freedom rides-and try to understand why he must do so. If his repressed emotions are not released in nonviolent ways, they will seek expression through violence; this is not a threat but a fact of history. So I have not said to my people: “Get rid of your discontent.” Rather, I have tried to say that this normal and healthy discontent can be channeled into the creative outlet of nonviolent direct action. And now this approach is being termed extremist. But though I was initially disappointed at being categorized as an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a measure of satisfaction from the label. Was not Jesus an extremist for love: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Was not Amos an extremist for justice: “Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” Was not Paul an extremist for the Christian gospel: “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” Was not Martin Luther an extremist: “Here I stand; I cannot do otherwise, so help me God.” And John Bunyan: “I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a butchery of my conscience.” And Abraham Lincoln: “This nation cannot survive half slave and half free.” And Thomas Jefferson: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that an men are created equal …” So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we viii be. We we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremist for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice? In that dramatic scene on Calvary ‘s hill three men were crucified. We must never forget that all three were crucified for the same crime—the crime of extremism. Two were extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their environment. The other, Jeans Christ, was an extremist for love, truth and goodness, and thereby rose above his environment. Perhaps the South, the nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists. I had hoped that the white moderate would see this need. Perhaps I was too optimistic; perhaps I expected too much. I suppose I should have realized that few members of the oppressor race can understand the deep groans and passionate yearnings of the oppressed race, and still fewer have the vision to see that injustice must be rooted out by strong, persistent and determined action. I am thankful, however, that some of our white brothers in the South have grasped the meaning of this social revolution and committed themselves to it. They are still too few in quantity, but they are big in quality. Some-such as Ralph McGill, Lillian Smith, Harry Golden, James McBride Dabbs, Ann Braden and Sarah Patton Boyle—have written about our struggle in eloquent and prophetic terms. Others have marched with us down nameless streets of the South. They have languished in filthy, roach-infested jails, suffering the abuse and brutality of policemen who view them as “dirty nigger lovers.” Unlike so many of their moderate brothers and sisters, they have recognized the urgency of the moment and sensed the need for powerful “action” antidotes to combat the disease of segregation. Let me take note of my other major disappointment. I have been so greatly disappointed with the white church and its leadership. Of course, there are some notable exceptions. I am not unmindful of the fact that each of you has taken some significant stands on this issue. I commend you, Reverend Stallings, for your Christian stand on this past Sunday, in welcoming Negroes to your worship service on a non segregated basis. I commend the Catholic leaders of this state for integrating Spring Hill College several years ago. But despite these notable exceptions, I must honestly reiterate that I have been disappointed with the church. I do not say this as one of those negative critics who can always find something wrong with the church. I say this as a minister of the gospel, who loves the church; who was nurtured in its bosom; who ‘has been sustained by its spiritual blessings and who will remain true to it as long as the cord of Rio shall lengthen. When I was suddenly catapulted into the leadership of the bus protest in Montgomery , Alabama , a few years ago, I felt we would be supported by the white church felt that the white ministers, priests and rabbis of the South would be among our strongest allies. Instead, some have been outright opponents, refusing to understand the freedom movement and misrepresenting its leader era; an too many others have been more cautious than courageous and have remained silent behind the anesthetizing security of stained-glass windows. In spite of my shattered dreams, I came to Birmingham with the hope that the white religious leadership of this community would see the justice of our cause and, with deep moral concern, would serve as the channel through which our just grievances could reach the power structure. I had hoped that each of you would understand. But again I have been disappointed. I have heard numerous southern religious leaders admonish their worshipers to comply with a desegregation decision because it is the law, but I have longed to hear white ministers declare: “Follow this decree because integration is morally right and because the Negro is your brother.” In the midst of blatant injustices inflicted upon the Negro, I have watched white churchmen stand on the sideline and mouth pious irrelevancies and sanctimonious trivialities. In the midst of a mighty struggle to rid our nation of racial and economic injustice, I have heard many ministers say: “Those are social issues, with which the gospel has no real concern.” And I have watched many churches commit themselves to a completely other worldly religion which makes a strange, on Biblical distinction between body and soul, between the sacred and the secular. I have traveled the length and breadth of Alabama , Mississippi and all the other southern states. On sweltering summer days and crisp autumn mornings I have looked at the South’s beautiful churches with their lofty spires pointing heavenward. I have beheld the impressive outlines of her massive religious-education buildings. Over and over I have found myself asking: “What kind of people worship here? Who is their God? Where were their voices when the lips of Governor Barnett dripped with words of interposition and nullification? Where were they when Governor Walleye gave a clarion call for defiance and hatred? Where were their voices of support when bruised and weary Negro men and women decided to rise from the dark dungeons of complacency to the bright hills of creative protest?” Yes, these questions are still in my mind. In deep disappointment I have wept over the laxity of the church. But be assured that my tears have been tears of love. There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. Yes, I love the church. How could I do otherwise? l am in the rather unique position of being the son, the grandson and the great-grandson of preachers. Yes, I see the church as the body of Christ. But, oh! How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being nonconformists. There was a time when the church was very powerful in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being “disturbers of the peace” and “outside agitators”‘ But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were “a colony of heaven,” called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God intoxicated to be “astronomically intimidated.” By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide. and gladiatorial contests. Things are different now. So often the contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. So often it is an archdefender of the status quo. Par from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church’s silent and often even vocal sanction of things as they are. But the judgment of God is upon the church as never before. If today’s church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it vi lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust. Perhaps I have once again been too optimistic. Is organized religion too inextricably bound to the status quo to save our nation and the world? Perhaps I must turn my faith to the inner spiritual church, the church within the church, as the true ekklesia and the hope of the world. But again I am thankful to God that some noble souls from the ranks of organized religion have broken loose from the paralyzing chains of conformity and joined us as active partners in the struggle for freedom, They have left their secure congregations and walked the streets of Albany , Georgia , with us. They have gone down the highways of the South on tortuous rides for freedom. Yes, they have gone to jai with us. Some have been dismissed from their churches, have lost the support of their bishops and fellow ministers. But they have acted in the faith that right defeated is stronger than evil triumphant. Their witness has been the spiritual salt that has preserved the true meaning of the gospel in these troubled times. They have carved a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment. I hope the church as a whole will meet the challenge of this decisive hour. But even if the church does not come to the aid of justice, I have no despair about the future. I have no fear about the outcome of our struggle in Birmingham , even if our motives are at present misunderstood. We will reach the goal of freedom in Birmingham , ham and all over the nation, because the goal of America k freedom. Abused and scorned though we may be, our destiny is tied up with America ‘s destiny. Before the pilgrims landed at Plymouth , we were here. Before the pen of Jefferson etched the majestic words of the Declaration of Independence across the pages of history, we were here. For more than two centuries our forebears labored in this country without wages; they made cotton king; they built the homes of their masters while suffering gross injustice and shameful humiliation-and yet out of a bottomless vitality they continued to thrive and develop. If the inexpressible cruelties of slavery could not stop us, the opposition we now face will surely fail. We will win our freedom because the sacred heritage of our nation and the eternal will of God are embodied in our echoing demands. Before closing I feel impelled to mention one other point in your statement that has troubled me profoundly. You warmly commended the Birmingham police force for keeping “order” and “preventing violence.” I doubt that you would have so warmly commended the police force if you had seen its dogs sinking their teeth into unarmed, nonviolent Negroes. I doubt that you would so quickly commend the policemen if .you were to observe their ugly and inhumane treatment of Negroes here in the city jail; if you were to watch them push and curse old Negro women and young Negro girls; if you were to see them slap and kick old Negro men and young boys; if you were to observe them, as they did on two occasions, refuse to give us food because we wanted to sing our grace together. I cannot join you in your praise of the Birmingham police department. It is true that the police have exercised a degree of discipline in handing the demonstrators. In this sense they have conducted themselves rather “nonviolently” in pubic. But for what purpose? To preserve the evil system of segregation. Over the past few years I have consistently preached that nonviolence demands that the means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek. I have tried to make clear that it is wrong to use immoral means to attain moral ends. But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or perhaps even more so, to use moral means to preserve immoral ends. Perhaps Mr. Connor and his policemen have been rather nonviolent in public, as was Chief Pritchett in Albany, Georgia but they have used the moral means of nonviolence to maintain the immoral end of racial injustice. As T. S. Eliot has said: “The last temptation is the greatest treason: To do the right deed for the wrong reason.” I wish you had commended the Negro sit-inners and demonstrators of Birmingham for their sublime courage, their willingness to suffer and their amazing discipline in the midst of great provocation. One day the South will recognize its real heroes. They will be the James Merediths, with the noble sense of purpose that enables them to face Jeering, and hostile mobs, and with the agonizing loneliness that characterizes the life of the pioneer. They will be old, oppressed, battered Negro women, symbolized in a seventy-two-year-old woman in Montgomery, Alabama, who rose up with a sense of dignity and with her people decided not to ride segregated buses, and who responded with ungrammatical profundity to one who inquired about her weariness: “My fleets is tired, but my soul is at rest.” They will be the young high school and college students, the young ministers of the gospel and a host of their elders, courageously and nonviolently sitting in at lunch counters and willingly going to jail for conscience’ sake. One day the South will know that when these disinherited children of God sat down at lunch counters, they were in reality standing up for what is best in the American dream and for the most sacred values in our Judaeo-Christian heritage, thereby bringing our nation back to those great wells of democracy which were dug deep by the founding fathers in their formulation of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. Never before have I written so long a letter. I’m afraid it is much too long to take your precious time. I can assure you that it would have been much shorter if I had been writing from a comfortable desk, but what else can one do when he k alone in a narrow jail cell, other than write long letters, think long thoughts and pray long prayers? If I have said anything in this letter that overstates the truth and indicates an unreasonable impatience, I beg you to forgive me. If I have said anything that understates the truth and indicates my having a patience that allows me to settle for anything less than brotherhood, I beg God to forgive me. I hope this letter finds you strong in the faith. I also hope that circumstances will soon make it possible for me to meet each of you, not as an integrationist or a civil rights leader but as a fellow clergyman and a Christian brother. Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty. Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood, MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

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TRUSTING HIM WRITTEN IN 2/2/2012

In the past month or so I’ve been tested by trust and I’ve been trusted by love. I was tested by helping others. I helped a friend have freedom and in return I’ve had nothing but drama… I wasn’t sure I was drama at first. I thought it was truth…then it became lies …then it became drama… I didn’t lie when I tell and told ppl that dajerrion cook was my best friend…but for some reason ppl under estimate that…well just in case u don’t know what that means it means it ain’t shit you can do or tell me about him…so for the next time or the next person that tries to test that faith I have in him…the same that he has in me. Think twice it will save me the lies and the drama….and it will save him the fights <3!

WHATS LOVE???

Real love…True Love is Caring. The ancient Greeks had many different names for different forms of love: passion, virtuous, affection for the family, desire, and general affection. But no matter how love is defined, they all hold a common trait: caring.

True Love is Attractive. Attraction and chemistry form the bond that allows people to mate. Without this romantic desire for another individual, a relationship is nothing more than lust or infatuation.

True Love is Attached. Like the mother-child bond, attachment comes after the initial attraction. Attachment is the long term love that appears anywhere from one to three years into a romantic relationship (sometimes sooner and very rarely after), and you’ll know you’ve found it when you can honestly say, “I’ve seen the worst and the best you have to offer, and I still love you,” while your partner feels the same way.

True Love is Commited. When it comes to true love, commitment is more than just monogamy. Its the knowledge that your partner cares for you and has your back, no matter what the circumstances. People who are strongly commited to one another will, when faced with seemingly negative information about their partner, see only the positive. For example, a friend comments that your partner doesn’t say a lot. “Ah yes, he’s the strong, silent type,” you reply. People with less commitment to their partner would instead say something like, “Yeah, I can never have conversation with him. Its annoying.”

True Love is Intimate. Intimacy is a crucial component of all relationships, regardless of their nature. In order to know another, you need to share parts of yourself. This self-revealing behavior, when reciprocated, forms an emotional bond. Over time this bond strengthens and even evolves, so that two people merge closer and closer together. Intimacy by itself if is a great friendship, but compiled with the other things in this list, it forms an equation for true love.

BEING IN LOVE

I was asked how do u know if ur in love with some one. Well i cant answer that for everyone but what i can do is answer for myself and how i know im in live with someone! I know because my wanting them turns into a needing them i put their needs before mine. Now i was also asked where do separate being in love with someone to them just being able to understand and to me that simple. If u have a child their is no way u should put their need needs aside to please any man! Now if u have a man that cant understand that then maybe u should question if he’s in love with u!?

Whats love got to do with it…

SOMETIMES I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY SOME WOMEN GO THROUGH WHAT THEY GO THROUGH WITH MEN. US AS WOMEN WILL GET DISRESPECTED, BEAT, TREATED LIKE SHIT AND BECAUSE WE ARE AND WOMEN LOVE HARDER THAN MEN WE THINK THATS HOW ITS SUPPOSE TO BE. WE BLAME OURSELF THINKING “WHAT DID I DO WRONG”. SOMETHING WE SHOULDNT DO. YOU SHOULDNT BLAME YOURSELF FOR A MAN TREATING U LIKE SHIT. THERE IS NO LEGITIMATE REASON U CAN GIVE YOURSELF OR ANYBODY ELSE WHY U LET A CORWARD DO WHAT EVER THEY WANT TO U AND TALK TO YOU HOWEVER THEY WANT. WOMEN NEED TO GAIN MORE SELF ESTEEM ABOUT THEM SELF. JUST BECAUSE U HAVE KIDS BY SOMEBODY DONT MEAN U GOT TO BE WITH THEY ASS. SO WHAT IF U HAVE 5 OR 6 BABY DADDYS IF THOSE 5 OR 6 NIGGAS DIDNT TREAT U RIGHT THEN U HAD THE RIGHT TO MOVE AROUND. AS THE FAMOUS TINA TURNER SAID: “WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT.”

FALLING IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!

NOBODY EVER TOLD ME THAT MARRIAGE WAS EASY AND NOBODY EVER SAID THAT IT WAS HARD. I NEVER HAD A EXAMPLE OF WHAT A REAL MARRIAGE WAS SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE BECAUSE IM ONE THAT DOESNT BEIEVE IN DIVORCE.

BUT SINCE IVE BEEN MARRIED I TELL YOU IT HAS BEEN A JOURNEY. IVE CRIED, LAUGHED, AD LAUGED TIL IVE CRIED. ME AND MY HUSBAND DONT SEE EYE TO EYE ABOUT SOME THINGS. BUT I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT THERE IS NOTHING THAT PRAYER WONT CHANGE. I FOUND MYSELF WITH MY EX LOSE MY WAY AND STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH, KNOWING DOG ON WELL I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THE CHURCH. I WAS ANY MINISTRY THAT HAD TO DO WITH MUSIC. AND I HOPE TO FIND MY WAY BACK TO MINISTER NOT ONLY THROUGH MUSIC BUT TO OUR GENERATION OF YOUNG GIRLS. 

BUT ANYWAYS, THE SAYING MARRIAGE DOESNT MEAN STOP PRAYING IT MEANS U HAVE TO PRAY A LITTLE BIT HARDER IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE AND THATS WHAT I PLAN TO DO.

XPRESSIONS DANCE JOURNAL

XPRESSIONS DANCE JOURNAL

WHATS UP! I AM DANCER WHO HAS MANY DREAMS AND IS VERY MOTIVATED TO GETTING WHERE I WANNA BE. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A TALKATIVE PERSON BUT SEEM TO EXPRESS MY SELF THROUGH DANCE AND POETRY.THESE BLOGS WILL BE ABOUT MOSTLY DANCE AND A FEW EXPRESSED PIECES OF MY LIFE. THESE BLOGS WILL ALSO EDUCATE YOU.PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CRITIQUE MY BLOGS AND SUGGEST ANYTHING YOU ARE INTERESTED IN KNOWING ABOUT DANCE OR MY OTHER INTERESTS.MESSAGE ME FOR FURTHER INSIGHT.

 

 


 

AFRICAN DANCE

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Labels: dance

“African dance refers mainly to the dances of
subsaharan and West Africa. The music
and dances of northern Africa and the Sahara are generally more closely
connected to those of the Near East. Also the dances of immigrants of European
and Asian descent (e.g. in South Africa) are not covered by this
article.
African dance has to be viewed in close connection with African Music.
Africans dance in all sorts of occasions to express their
inner feelings, whether of joy or of sorrow. While the dancing is spontaneous
and voluntary, the drumbeat provides
the rhythm that holds the dancers together. Although the drums in more recent
years have become ornaments for decorating the home as well as the popular
souvenirs for tourists to Zimbabwe and other
African countries, their primary function remains their role in cultural
activities and rituals.
In villages throughout the continent, the sound and
the rhythm of the drum express the
mood of the people. The drum is the sign of life; its beat is the heartbeat of
the community. Such is the power of the drum to evoke emotions, to touch
the souls of those who hear its rhythms. In an African community, coming
together in response to the beating of the drum is an opportunity to give one
another a sense of belonging and of solidarity. It is a time to connect with
each other, to be part of that collective rhythm of the life in which young and
old, rich and poor, men and women are all invited to contribute to the society. “

 

 

NEVER WOULD HAVE MADE IT!

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Thursday, August 7, 2008

Never would have made itNever could have made it without uI
would have lost it allBut now I see how u were there for meIm strongerIm wiserIm
betterSo much better

 

 

BALLET DANCE

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Thursday, August 7, 2008

“Ballet is a formalized form of dance with its origins in the Italian Renaissance court, further developed in France and Russia as a concert dance form. It is a highly technical form of dance with its own vocabulary. It has been influential as a form of dance globally and is taught in ballet schools around the world which use their own culture and society to modernize the art. Ballet dance works (ballets) are choreographed, and also include mime, acting, and are set to music (usually orchestral but occasionally vocal). It is best known in the form of classical ballet, notable for its techniques, such as pointe work and turn-out of the legs, its graceful, flowing, precise movements, and its ethereal qualities. Later developments include neoclassical ballet and contemporary ballet.
The
etymology of the word “ballet” is related to the art form’s history. The word ballet comes from the French and was borrowed into English around the 17th century. The French word in turn has its origins in Italian balletto, a diminutive of ballo (dance). Ballet ultimately traces back to Latin ballare, meaning to dance.”

 

 

Dance is my Passion!

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Thursday, August 7, 2008

Dance is my passion!
There are many people that believe that dance for me is a hobby. There is a big difference between dance being a hobby and a passion. You see a hobby is something u do in your past time. When you’re bored. But a passion is something u desire and dream about. Something that without it u yourself can’t function. You look past your passion. I look pas dance and see me opening up my own dance studio. And dancing on Broadway. Hobbies you look at doing if u can’t find anything else to do.
Every since my mother put me in dance since I was four I pretty much knew what I wanted to do with my life. There were many times a four years old I really didn’t know what was going on but what I did know was that the feeling I got. The rush I got every time I got on that stage was a rush I wanted to feel all the time and that I liked that rush. It didn’t have anything to do with all the attention I got after the show because some strange person in the audience remembered my face out of 30 other dancers it was because that dance on the stage was an expression that was released and showed to many people that I didn’t mind expressing again.
I have ran into many people that say that dancers don’t make much money. That’s another reason why dance is a passion there are many ppl that wake up and gt ready for their good paying job that they hate. But because its paying good money they keep going. But for me I want to get up for a job that I love and because its go be my own business than I am getting paid good money. U make thing the way u want to make them. They don’t make you.

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

JAZZ

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Saturday, August 9, 2008

“Jazz dance originated from the African American vernacular dance of the late 1800s to the mid-1900s. An early popular “jazz dancer” was vaudeville star Joe Frisco who, in the 1910s, danced in a loose-limbed style close to the ground while juggling his derby, hat and cigar.
Until the mid 1950s, the term “jazz dance” often referred to tap dance, because tap dancing (set to jazz music) was the main performance dance of the era. During the later
jazz age, popular forms of jazz dance were the Cakewalk, Black Bottom, Charleston, Jitterbug, Boogie Woogie, Swing dancing and the related Lindy Hop.
After the 1950s, pioneers such as
Katherine Dunham took the essence of Caribbean traditional dance and made it into a performing art. With the growing domination of other forms of entertainment music, jazz dance evolved on Broadway into the new, smooth style that is taught today and known as Modern Jazz, while tap dance branched off to follow its own, separate evolutionary path. The performance style of jazz dance was popularized to a large extent by Bob Fosse’s work, which is exemplified by Broadway shows such as Chicago, Cabaret, Damn Yankees, and The Pajama Game.
Today, jazz dance is present in many different forms and venues. Jazz dance is commonly taught in dance schools and performed by dance companies around the world. It continues to be an essential element of
musical theater choreography, where it may be interwoven with other dance styles as appropriate for a particular show. Jazz dancing can be seen in music videos, in competitive dance, and on the television show, So You Think You Can Dance”.

 

 

MODERN DANCE

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Saturday, August 9, 2008

Modern dance is a dance form developed in the early 20th century. Although the term Modern dance has also been applied to a category of 20th Century ballroom dances, Modern dance as a term usually refers to 20th century concert dance.In the early 1900s two woman dancers in America, Isadora Duncan and Ruth St. Denis, as well as one in Germany, Mary Wigman, started a rebellion against the rigid constraints of Classical Ballet. Shedding the authoritarian controls surrounding classical ballet technique, costume and shoes, these early modern dance pioneers focused on creative self-expression rather than on technical virtuosity.
Modern dance is approximately 100 years old.In United States
Loie Fuller, Isadora Duncan, Ruth St. Denis, Doris Humphrey and Martha Graham developed their own styles of dance and laid the foundations of American modern dance with their choreography and teaching.

The development of Modern dance embraced the contributions of African American dance artists regardless of whether they made pure modern dance works or blended modern dance with African and Caribbean influences.
Katherine DunhamAfrican American dancer, and anthropologist, originally a ballet dancer she founded her first company Ballet Negre in 1936 and later the Katherine Dunham Dance Company based in Chicago, Illinois. Dunham opened a school in New York (1945) where she taught Katherine Dunham Technique, a blend of African and Caribbean movement (flexible torso and spine, articulated pelvis and isolation of the limbs and polyrhythmic movement) integrated with techniques of ballet and modern dance.
Pearl Primus – a dancer, choreographer and anthropologist Primus drew on African and Caribbean dances to create strong dramatic works characterized by large leaps in the air. Primus often based her dances on the work of black writers and on racial and African-American issues. Primus created works based on Langston Hughes The Negro Speaks of Rivers (1944), and Lewis Allan‘s Strange Fruit (1945). Her dance company developed into the Pearl Primus Dance Language Institute which teaches her method of blending African-American, Caribbean, and African influences with modern dance and ballet techniques.
Alvin Ailey– a student of Lester Horton (and later Martha Graham) Ailey spent several years working in both concert and theatre dance. in 1930 Ailey and a group of young African-American dancers perform as Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater in New York. Ailey drew upon his blood memories of Texas, the blues, spirituals and gospel as inspiration, his most popular and critically acclaimed work is Revelations (1960).


 

Modern Journals

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Sunday, August 24, 2008

WHEN I WAS AT COLUMBIA COLLEGE MY MODERN INSTRUCTOR MADE US RIGHT JOURNALS ABOUT WHAT WE DID IN CLASS. AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS POINTLESS UNTIL I REALIZED THAT AFTER READING MY JOURNALS THERE WAS ALOT OF THING I NEEDED TO WORK ON. SO I BEGAN TO JOURNAL ABOUT DIFFERENT MOVES IN CLASS THAT I DIDNT UNDERSTAND OR ONES THAT I DID. I PRETTY MUCH BEGAN TO CRITISIZE MY DAMN SELF BEFORE THE INSTRUCTOR DID IT SO THAT I WOULD NOT BE SHOCKED ABOUT HER RESULTS ON WHAT SHE SEES.

 

Dance Journals
Modern

October 24
Under curve
It was taught to me that the under curve is not a contraction it is the connection between the hips and the forehead touching. All this time and my ass was doing it wrong. I was contracting thinking that I push my back muscles further back to curve and it’s wrong. I know the real under curve and it’s harder and I get a little bit more of a stretch out of the right thing way more than what I was really doing. You always do something wondering why u arent sweating like everyone else but because ur doing it u never think. Maybe im doing it wrong. something as simple as a undercurve can be done wrong.

October 29
Flat back
During modern I believe that I have my flat back down. When I come from the under curve I jump right into flat back stretching my arms in front of me to a point where I can still see my hands in the corner of my eye. I know when I’m doing flat back right because I can feel that extra stretch in the back of my thighs and calf muscle. I need to work on not tilting on my flat back or leaning back. with me automatically being bo-legged there is an automatic lean back stance. The best thing for me to do is not lock my knees. to keep them slightly bent. so that the audience wont tell that they are bent.

October 31
tilt
It’s hard to understand what the tilt is in the exercise. I’m not sure if it’s the isolation of the upper torso or if it’s the isolation of the upper body tipping over from left to right. The more that I do it the more I realize that I’m doing it wrong. Most of the time I feel like maybe I’m doing it wrong and everybody else doing it right or I’m doing it right and everybody else doing it wrong. Who knows?

November2
Extensions
I get a little nervous doing extensions. Its seems like if I push off my hands too hard I flip over. But if I push just right I feel like I’m never coming down. One class I rolled over on my wrist which hurt real bad so now I have to try it without actually hurting myself. Hopefully ill get it one day.the thing about extensions is that u have to extend and push and in all this keep a certain form. now maybe you dont know what im talkin about but its very hard. i will keep practicing an let u know if i have it down.

November5
Fetal position
I never really understood why it was called a fetal position. Now I understand. But I never knew somebody could make it into a modern exercise or warm up. Well I must say this position isn’t so much the exercise it’s the positions after that make it an exercise.if u look at a fetus it looks balled up but the top body half isnt touching the bottom body half so ur have alot of center stregnth helping u stay in that position. without center stregnth u can basically do nothing.

November7
Tucking and rolling
I’m pretty much use to this exercise. We do this exercise in African. Were told to tuck our heads and roll over out shoulder not our spine. Were told pretty much the same thing that’s told to us in modern. So hearing the same thing twice makes the exercise easier.not only it easier but it lets u know that that is the way the move is suppose to go. ur now hearing different techniques for one movement.

November12
Body half
At first I didn’t understand the body half but now that I understand the process it’s a pretty good exercise for me to teach myself to move one half of my body but to keep the other half still. Sometimes during the exercise I get confused but I seem to make out okay!the way i describe it may seem pretty easy to u. so try this. lay down in a x position and move ur right elbow to ur right knee and tell me how it feels. remember to keep energy flowing through the arm and leg ur not using. u should feel a stretch in ur left abdominals.

November 14
Knee and hand opposite extension
When we have to stretch our hand opposite our foot I don’t seem to feel a stretch. Either im doing it wrong or im not suppose to feel a stretch. Which ever one it is I hope I feel a stretch before this semester is up.

November 19
Knee drop
For some odd reason my knee drops hurt. I think im dropping my knee down to hard or something because I seem to be hurting myself after the knee drops. Last class I had a bruise on my knee from when I dropped down my other knee on top. Yea I think im dropping a little to hard.

November 21
Leg swings
I love the leg swings. I remember having to do this at track practice at the hurdle. He use to tell us to make sure our leg swing went over the hurdles. But I never thought we could do leg swings on the floor.

November 27
Student teachers
The student teachers were pretty fun even though they didn’t teach me anything that I hadn’t already learn from my other teacher it was fun. They did good. Hopefully when I get in that class I do well.

November 29
Student teachers
Their back! I didn’t know that we were gonna have them again. But its cool becaue their pretty fun I guess. Their not real hard and not real easy. And I like that. Keep it up student teachers!

December 3
Abdominal works
Today we were given some abdominal stretches to give us something to work on over the break. Believe it or not I use to be one of those people that were obsessed with abs and did them all day everyday. But I fell off a little bit. I got a little lazy and stopped doing them.

December 5
Abdominal work
I feel the burn in this abdominal stretches. They seem to be a little hard because I tend to stop breathing. But that’s cool because now that I know how to breathe during them it makes my stretches a little bit easier and I can do more.

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

1 comments:

Vaneticorum said…

This is what I’d call long. But, it’s informative and interesting so that’s ok. You should keep doing these to let readers know where you’ve improved or what new things you’ve learned about dance. I’ll be on the look out, for sure, so keep it up.

August 27, 2008 1:30 PM

Vaneticorum said…

This is what I’d call long. But, it’s informative and interesting so that’s ok. You should keep doing these to let readers know where you’ve improved or what new things you’ve learned about dance. I’ll be on the look out, for sure, so keep it up.

August 27, 2008 1:30 PM

 

 

BALLET JOURNAL

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Saturday, August 30, 2008

Dance fundamentals
Ballet

October 25
Tendues

My tendues are doing much better with the ball toe ball flex exercise. Ive gotten compliments since ballet. Think ive gotten better in my dance flaws. i was never bad at my tirnout but i wasn’t perfect. if i was i wouldn’t be in dance fundamentals.

October 30
Extended knee

I was told today that I have extended knees so instead of really balancing I sit back in my knees and push al my weight down in my knees. I can’t assume that this is a good thing because I know its not. In order to find my real balance I have to slightly bend my supporting leg and balance my weight in my center. To be honest this is hard as hell because I became a habit. But now it’s a bad habit.

November1
Degages
I was thinking that my second degage was suppose to be completely to the side when really it’s suppose to line up with the second position feet. When I bring down my degage life because a whole lot harder because I have to use those inner thigh muscles to keep my leg from flopping down on the floor. I think second position is a teacher’s preference because I have had teacher tell me that your degage second should be right in on the side of u near you ear and I have had instructors tell me to line it up with my turnout. But lining it up is easier.

November6
Turnout
I finally found my turn out. My turnout was basically the turnout of my legs and thighs and feet. My full turn out makes everything that I do work from the thigh muscle. Especially when I do degage roundajambe. I also use my inner thighs on the plies and the changement when to hold my self up. Yyyyaaaayyy!!!!! I found my full turnout I’m so happy.

November8
Substitute
To be completely honest I don’t seem to get my stretch when there’s a substitute but I find it somewhat helpful when she gives me observations that my other teachers haven’t given. Thanx anyway.

November13
Plies

Today it was kind of hard for me to hold myself up during my grand plies. It was mostly hard in 4th and 5th position. I try to push my heels on the ground before I stretch back up and seems to be extra hard. When I open out my thighs in more of good turn out I find my balance more. I use all of my corrections by not sitting back in my hips and finding my center. I think if I keep this up then I can progress and little more in my grand plies.

November15
4th position
In all the years that I have been in dance my fourth position was wrong. I’ve come to realize that my fourth position is the step out of my 5th position. Though it makes everything harder, it’s right. I have been practicing my fourth position while I was standing up on the bus and I believe I have shown progress in the class. It’s easier to find my 4th at the bar than it is without the bar. But then everything is easier at the bar.

November26
Didn’t dance this day!

In ballet on the 1st exercise we reviewed tendues. One thing some dancers have to remember is coming from flex to tendu they have to make sure their foot touches the ground. On the second exercise we reviewed plies. During the second position plie dancers need to remember their heel does not leave the ground. On the 4th position plie dancers need to remember that the heel touches the ground as soon as the body begins to come up. You also need to make sure u tighten the thigh muscles during susous. On the retires angie needs to make sure she spreads her toes like a duck and keep her center and that will help her keep her balance. Tahsa needs to be more confident in the combination and stop looking at everyone else. On the floor work everyone needs to keep in mind the exercises from the bar and the notes from the bar. Remember to fully turnout. Also remember the combination taught. Angie don’t give up if you don’t get the exercise right off the back. Remember on degage’s; technique is more important than height. Everyone needs to keep in mind the definition of the terms as they do them. During the Cambre Natasha needs to remember when passing through there is a flat back. Last but not least everyone remember the new term fuete.

Decmeber4
Changement
Im doing real well doing the changement.im making sure my heels are done each time and everything. I think I land to hard because later my chins hurt but I think its worth it. There isn’t much I can say but im improving I think.

December6
Didn’t dance!

I must say after all of this time in dance fundamentals everyone has grown to be a very well dancer and better than we were when we first walked in. I know this training has helped me more as a dancer. Even though i was told to take more dance fundamentals I feel like Im a better dancer than I was before I walked in. I must say I am a grown dancer.
At the beginning of class we worked on grand plies. Everyone did very well on grand plies. Everyone must remember to go through flat back doing cambres. Remember on the second exercise to tighten inner thighs during susous. That will also help during the detourne.
Angie remember to focus and remember the combination. Jv has done better in finding her center. Natasha has grown more confident in what shes doing. Not looking at everyone else. Obie beautiful job during cambers. During enhaut remember center going long and back dropping down. Dancers need to remember if you mark the combination while shes going over it then maybe you will do better when its time to dance it full out.
Demar good balance. Obie beautiful tendues. Obie and shaunice great jobs on balances. Everyone good job on fondues. Try not to bend leg on roundajambe. On the floor exercises on piques turns don’t rest foot on knee.

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

1 comments:

Vaneticorum said…

Gotta admit, first and foremost, I did not understand half of what I read. That being said, while I found myself lost in the terms of Ballet, I still kept reading because this is quite an interesting post. Again I say, keep doing the journals, even as you take classes this semester. Hope to read more like this one.

August 31, 2008 2:56 AM

Vaneticorum said…

Gotta admit, first and foremost, I did not understand half of what I read. That being said, while I found myself lost in the terms of Ballet, I still kept reading because this is quite an interesting post. Again I say, keep doing the journals, even as you take classes this semester. Hope to read more like this one.

August 31, 2008 2:56 AM

 

 

DANCERS AT COLUMBIA!

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Sunday, August 31, 2008

THE MOST IMPORTANAT THING TO DO IN COLLEGE IS MAKE FRIENDS. AND IT WASNT THAT HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS SEEING AS HOW I WAS IN TH DANCE DEPARTMENT. MOST DANCERS ARE FRIENDLY AND IF THERE NOT THERE STUCK UP. I WAS INVITED TO A DANCERS PARTY AND AS U CAN SEE IT WAS WILD. BUT ONE THING U DIDNT HVAE TO WORRY ABOUT WAS ANY BODY DANCING.LOL. I WENT TO THE PARTY WITH MY BESTIE NICOLE AND AT THE TIME THIS DUDE I WAS TALKING TO MY THE NAME OF GHOST. WELL ANY WAYS HOW THIS RELATES TO DANCE HMMM!
NETOWORKING IS A BIG KEY WHEN UR TRYING TO GET TO THE TOP. EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT LIKE IT ON CHICAGO I MADE FRIENDS AND GOT NUMBERS. WHO KNOWS I MAY SEE THESE PPL LATER IN MY CAREER AND THEY MAY HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO GIVE ME THE JOB BUT BECAUSE I KEPT IN TOUCH SINCE MY FRESHMEN YEAR OF COLLEGE THERE IS AN OPEN JOB FOR ME. AND IT ALL STARTED AT A PARTY!

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

 

 

GHOST HIP HOP BLOGSPOT

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Monday, September 1, 2008

http://ghostdahustla.blogspot.com/

http://ghostmoneydotblogspot.blogspot.com/

http://hiphoppoliticalparty.blogspot.com/

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

 

EXPRESSIONS

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The thoughts expressed but unheard.Weather they have a meaning or not. Im not sure.But the point in letting it out weather it be through dancing or writing it should be expressed.Expression is something that is often not taken seriously but my talent is about expression.Acting, dancing, writing.Express how you feel whether they like it or not.Who caresExpressLove always, expressions

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

IMPROVISATION JAM

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Thursday, September 11, 2008

 

TODAY IN MODERN WE DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT BECAUSE OF THE LOW ATTENDANCE WE HAD. WE DIDNT HAVE MUCH ATTENDANCE BECAUSE OF HURRICANE IKE AND MANY OF US WERE TOLD TO EVACUATE. ALOT OF CLASSES WERE CANCELLED BUT NOT OURS. AND IM GLAD IT WASNT. WELL ANY WAYS WE DID A IMPROV JAM. THE IMPROV JAM WAS EXACTLY WHAT ITS CALLED U IMPROV BUT U DONT HAVE TO DO DANCE MOVEMENTS U JUST MOVE. U HAVE TO MOVE IN THE BUNCH OF DANCERS. WE ALSO DID IMPROV TOUCH. THIS IS WHERE U GET A PARTNER AND U ALL MOVE BUT NO MATTER WHAT MOVE U DO OR UR PARTNER DOES U HAVE TO KEEP TOUCHING. THIS ALSO DOESNT REQUIRE THAT U DO DANCE MOVES BUT U MUST MOVE. IT S SAID THAT PPL WHO DONT DANCE ARE BETTER AT THIS BECAUSE DANCERS MINDS ARE BLOCKED BYE DANCING AND NOT JUST MOVING AND BELIEVE ME THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. WELL ANYWAYS IN BOTH OF THESES EXERCISES TODAY I HAD ALOT OF FUN. AND I PLAN TO DO MORE OF THAT IN THAT CLASS. I SEEM TO HAVE ALOT OF FUN IN THAT MODERN CLASS THAN I DID IN THAT MODERN CLASS IN CHICAGO. GOSH I LOVE IT HERE!

 

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

IMPROVISATION JAM OUTSIDE

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Friday, September 26, 2008

DANCERS ARE LIMITED TO THE SMALL SPACE IN A DANCE ROOM WHICH IS CONSIDERED A BOX. WE DID A SMALL IMPROVISATION JAM OUTSIDE IN THE PIT WHICH WAS FUN AND OUTSIDE OUR COMFORT ZONE. I LIKED IT AND BY THE SIT OF THE PICS MY CLASS MATES ENJOYED IT ALSO.

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EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

IMPROVISATION JAM OUTSIDE

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Friday, September 26, 2008

DANCERS ARE LIMITED TO THE SMALL SPACE IN A DANCE ROOM WHICH IS CONSIDERED A BOX. WE DID A SMALL IMPROVISATION JAM OUTSIDE IN THE PIT WHICH WAS FUN AND OUTSIDE OUR COMFORT ZONE. I LIKED IT AND BY THE SIT OF THE PICS MY CLASS MATES ENJOYED IT ALSO.

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EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

CHICAGO

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Saturday, September 27, 2008

AS EVERYONE KNOWS MY DANCING CAREER STARTED IN CHICAGO. I REALLY DIDNT LIKE IT THEIR. AS MUCH AS I WANTED TO B IN THAT CITY BECAUSE THE AMAZING THINGS I HEARD ABOUT THIS ONE CITY. I THOUGHT THAT CHICAGO WAS FOR THOSE INTERESTED IN MUSIC I THOUGHT IT WAS THE MUSIC CITY. I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CITY FOR THE RAPPERS, BEAT MAKERS, PRODUCERS AND ALL. BUT NOT FOR A DANCER AND I STILL THINK THAT. BUT HERE I AM IN HUNSVILLE, TEXAS WHERE ITS A REGULAR COLLEGE NOT AN ARTS COLLEGE AND I AM GETTIN THE SAME ATTENTION WE GOT IN CHICAGO IF NOT MORE. I MISS CHICAGO BECAUSE OF THE MANY ARTISTS I MET THERE. BUT I LOVE IT HERE. I WILL B IN CHICAGO FOR MY MFA IN DANCE.
*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

MARTHA GRAHAM AND JOSE LIMON

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Sunday, October 19, 2008

WE HAVE SWITCHED DANCE TEACHERS IN MY MODERN 2 CLASS. THE FIRST TEACHER WAS SUPPOSE TO BE GOING OVER BASIC MODERN. AND THE SECOND TEACHER IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE HISTORIAN OF MODERN. WHICH MEANS SHE WILL DO MORE INTENSIVE DANCIN LIKE FROM “LAMONE AND GRAHAM”. THESE DANCERS I BOTH ADMIRE BUT I MUST SAY THEIR TECHNIQUE IS HARD AS FUCK. LOL. I VERY MUCH SORE FROM DOING THEIR DANCE TECHNIQUES. AS MOST DANCERS KNOW GRAHAM IS FOCUSED ON THE CONTRACTION. LAMONE IS BASED AROUND GIVE AND TAKE. MY NEXT BLOGS WILL BE HISTORY ON THESE TWO SUPERB DANCERS.

 

 

MARTH GRAHAM

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Sunday, October 19, 2008

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*Martha Graham (May 11, 1894April 1, 1991) was an American dancer and choreographer regarded as one of the foremost pioneers of modern dance, whose influence on dance can be compared to the influence Stravinsky had on music, Picasso had on the visual arts and Frank Lloyd Wright had on architecture.[1] Graham invented a new language of movement, and used it to reveal the passion, the rage and the ecstasy common to human experience. She danced and choreographed for over seventy years, and during that time was the first dancer ever to perform at The White House, the first dancer ever to travel abroad as a cultural ambassador, and the first dancer ever to receive the highest civilian award, the Medal of Freedom. In her lifetime she received honors ranging from the key to the City of Paris to Japan‘s Imperial Order of the Precious Crown. She said “I have spent all my life with dance and being a dancer. It’s permitting life to use you in a very intense way. Sometimes it is not pleasant. Sometimes it is fearful. But nevertheless it is inevitable.”

 

 

JOSE LIMON

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Sunday, October 19, 2008

José Arcadio Limón (1908 – 1972) was a pioneering modern dancer and choreographer. He was born in Culiacán, Sinaloa, Mexico, the eldest of 12 children. He moved to New York City in 1928 where he studied under Doris Humphrey and Charles Weidman. In 1946, Limón founded the José Limón Dance Company. His most famous dance is The Moor’s Pavane (1949), based on Shakespeare‘s Othello.

 

 

TEACHABLE

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Friday, November 21, 2008

 

 

SO TOMORROW I HAVE AUDITIONS. THESE AUDITIONS DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT I GET IN THE BFA PROGRAM @ SHSU. I THINK I WILL GET IN BUT OTHERS MAY HAVE DOUBTS. I HAVE BEEN DOUBTED ALL MY LIFE SO I COULD REALLY CARELESS. FOR ONE I AM A STRONG BELIEVER IN PROVING PEOPLE WRONG. I MUST SAY THAT I LIVE MY LIFE OFF OF PROVING PPL WRONG. ANYWAYS I CALLED TO ASK WHAT EXACTLY THEY WERE LOOKING FOR IN THE AUDITIONS AND ONE THING HE LET ME KNOW WAS THAT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS TEACHABLE. THERE HAS BEEN PPL TO COME INTO AUDITIONS AND ARE BEAUTIFUL DANCERS BUT THEY ARE PRIMA DONNAS. THEY CANT B TOLD ANYTHING. SO WITH THAT IN MIND I WISH MYSELF GOOD LUCK. AND PRAY THAT GOD GIVE ME THE STREGNTH TO DANCE WITH MY MIND BODY AND SOUL. AND TO MOST OF ALL KEEP MY MIND OPEN TO ANY CRITIQUES AND SO ON. WISH ME LUCK! ONE LOVE, ONE LIFE.

 

 

THIS DETERMINES MY FUTURE.

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Sunday, November 23, 2008

YESTERDAY I WAS AT THE SHSU DANCE AUDITIONS AND I MUST SAY THAT THE AUDITIONS WERE ALOT EASIER THAN I THOUGHT. I THINK I DID VERY WELL AT AUDITIONS BUT OTHERS MAY THINK OTHER WISE. THIS AUDITION DETERMINES WHETHER IM GOOD ENOUGH TO GET A BFA IN THEIR DANCE DEPT. BUT WHAT I NEED THE JUDGES TO UNDERSTAND IS THAT THEY WILL SEE MY FACE EVERY YEAR UNTIL THEY PUT ME IN THE BFA. I TAKE THAT BACK THEY WILL SEE ME EVERY SEMESTER. AT THE END OF THE AUDITIONS WE HAD TO DO A 20 SEC PIECE OF AND GENRE OF WHAT THEY HAVENT ALREADY SEEN US DO. THEY ALREADY SAW ME DO BALLET AND MODERN SO U KNOW WHAT I BUSTED OUT WITH… I BUSTED OUT WITH THAT AFRICAN. EHHHH. YEEEEEP. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS I THINK I DID VERY WELL I HOPE I IMPRESSED THE JUDGES.

*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

MAJORS WORKSHOP

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Saturday, December 13, 2008

 

 

THE OTHER NIGHT I HAD MY FIRST PERFORMANCE AT SAM HOUSTON STATE UNIVERSITY. ITS CALLED MAJORS WORKSHOP WHERE ALL THE CLASSES PERFORM WHAT THEY LEARNED IN CLASS. IT WAS FUN AND LET ME KNOW THAT THIS DANCE DEPARTMENT WAS THE DANCE DEPARTMENT I WANTED TO BE IN. ITS NICE TO SHARE THE SAME PASSION WITH OTHERS.

 

 

2ND ATTEMPT ON MY FUTURE

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Sunday, February 8, 2009

SO YESTERDAY I REAUDITIONED FOR THE SAM HOUSTON STATE UNIVERSITY DANCE DEPT. TO GET INTO THEIR BFA PROGRAM.I THINK I WAS FIERCE BUT LIKE SAID IN MY OTHER BLOGS THEY MAY THINK DIFFERENTLY. I LOVE DANCEING SO MUCH IT AINT EVEN NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE FEELING I GET WHN MOVING ACROSS THAT STAGE. I JUST HOPE THE JUDGES CAN SEE THAT IN MY FACE AND THROUGH MY EYES U KNOW.

 

 

alvin ailey biography

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Alvin Ailey Biography
(1931–1989)

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The Alvin Ailey Dance Theater Web site

Dancer and choreographer. Born January 5, 1931 in Rogers, Texas. In 1943, Alvin Ailey and his mother moved to Los Angeles, where he nurtured his interest in dance. He became a member of Lester Horton’s company in 1950, and when his mentor died in 1953, Ailey was chosen to take over as director and choreographer.
After training in New York City with Martha Graham and others, he founded the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater in 1958, which was a hugely popular, multi-racial modern dance ensemble. The company popularized modern dance around the world thanks to tours sponsored by the U.S. State Department. His most famous dance, Revelations, is based on Ailey’s own experience of growing up African American in the rural South and is a celebratory study of religious spirit. He retired from the stage in 1965 to devote himself to the company.
Ailey received the Kennedy Center Honors in 1988 and died a year later of AIDS.

 

 

new blog spot called “animated xpress” check em out!

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Friday, August 14, 2009

http://animatedxpress.blogspot.com/
*EXPRESSIONS SHADOW*

 

 

Advised by my mother. Letter sent aug 7th. My last convo with him.

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Wednesday, September 9, 2009

On Tue, 8 Sep 2009 9:31 pm, Chloe Price wrote:
> ———- Forwarded message ———-
> From: jocelyn medlock-price <medlockprice@yahoo.com>
> Date: Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:04:06 -0700 (PDT)
> Subject: Advised by My Mother
> To: vaneticorum@sbcglobal.net
> Cc: chloe price <chloeakacoko@gmail.com>
>
> FROM: CHLOE PAIGE PRICE
> TO: CHRISTOPHER JEROME GIBBS
> TOPIC: APOLOGY…CONFESSION…EXPLANATION
>
> Dear Christopher J. Gibbs,
> Before you get mad that I’m bothering you I was told by my mother to
> allow your temper to cool down and write you a letter.  If you don’t
> believe me you are free to call her and make sure.  This letter will
> be explaining and confessing what I did and why I did it.
>
> I will start with the less recent and move from their.   First, I
> will
> explain the conversation with Earnest. Since you and I have been
> together Earnest didn’t like it.  He never told me that in my face
> until later on down the lines of our relationship.  When you began to
> feel uneasy about me and Earnest friendship it made it hard for me,
> because at the same time I was being accused of cheating or messing
> around with Earnest and it was nothing like that. You began to ask me
> to do things that I was willing to do, like stop talking to Earnest
> after a certain time.  I was willing to do it because it was something
> I asked of you as well.  Earnest didn’t like that one bit.  I’m
> sure
> Earnest probably told you that he rarely text me after 9 because he is
> sleep by a certain time, which is not true because you yourself have
> seen texts from him after 9.  When you and I got into one of the worse
> arguments about Earnest was when Earnest spoke to me. You
> have that conversation. You said that Earnest told you that he never
> got on his instant message. How could that possibly be true when we
> argued about me speaking to him on instant message?  You have seen his
> username right? My mother witnessed sunday him signed on to his yahoo
> messenger and i was sitting right in front of her. there was now way i
> could pose a convo with him. You said you spoke to him: No man will
> tell you that they were throwing salt in your game because they want
> to get at your girl. No man.  There’s no way I can fake the
> conversation me and Earnest had from his username and/or discuss
> anything with him. My reason for not communicating with him any more
> wasn’t because of you and or me. It was because of us. When Earnest
> revealed to me that he liked me more than a friend I ended the
> friendship between me and him. You were not aware of it because I took
> matters into my own hands. So if you ever thought I was hiding
> something from you
> that’s what it was.  The reason why i was so frustrated when you were
> telling me about you not being able to trust Earnest is because it
> wasnt the first time i was told that.  My mother always told me the
> same thing. but lesson learned is the best teacher. But I can honestly
> and truthfully say that I was 100% faithful to you.
>
> Second, before all of this I know it was hard for you to believe me
> because of the Ashley and Angie prank which is understandable. The
> night we went out to Furr’s when we got back I was instant messaging
> Islee. I text her to see what she was up to. I told her that we had
> just got back from going out with your boys. And she asked me if I had
> fun. I told yea but I wish I could hang out with my friends more. It
> was said wrongly and taken out of context.  I was not saying that I
> didn’t have fun, because I had a wonderful time.  I was saying that I
> wish the things we do often with your boys, that we could do those
> things sometimes with my girls. That’s when Islee asked well why you
> don’t, and I told her. Well, I don’t have many friends.  Islee said
> is
> it because you have burned bridges with some friends since you and
> Chris got together and I told her yes.  Not saying that you are the
> reason I burned those bridges but with your second intuition I was
> able to see thing about others that I didn’t see before.  It’s
> always
> been told to me that someone on the outside looking in sees more than
> the person inside.  After all of that she was saying how she
> understood where I was coming from so I was beginning to tell her
> about the whole Earnest situation and confessing and asking her if she
> thought I was doing the right thing about cutting Earnest off as a
> friend after finding out how he really felt, but when I sent the first
> text to her she never responded and I figured she fell asleep.  Their
> was no point in time that I blamed you for not having friends because
> I have a couple and that’s all I need.  I never knew what was said
> when you all spoke so me calling Islee a liar was out of line.  I
> apologized to Islee for that and i apologize to you. I know that Islee
> didn’t break us up and didn’t think that would have. She was just
> informing of the conversation probably trying to figure out what she
> could
> do to help and I thanked her for that.  I even asked you a couple of
> times what I needed to do to get friends like yours. and you said you
> just have to find someone that cuts for you just like you would for
> them. From then on me and Jasmine began to become closer right along
> with Shalonda (taetae).  But again you were never my reason or the
> blame for not having many friends. You were my help and gain to
> cherish the friends I did have. After, all of this we broke up.
>
> I wasn’t sure what was said or what made you so upset but I was hurt.
> You told me you weren’t happy. There were some situations where I
> could see you get so damn frustrated and pissed with me. As far as
> knowing every lil detail of your unhappiness, I’m not a mind reader.
> But I can say I tried my hardest to make you happy. Their were times
> that I was unhappy. I use to tell you that I felt so damn depressed
> because their were things you did for me that I not only couldn’t do
> for my self, but I couldn’t do for you and that frustrated me. And
> that’s why I began to cry for the way I was because I felt like I was
> dependant and I didn’t want to be at all. After that I told you I was
> going to give you a couple of weeks.
>
> That first week I was cool. It was hard but I was cool. That second
> week I began to miss you like crazy. I started going over Jasmine’s to
> listen to her and Gary’s problems hoping that there was somebody out
> their going through what I was going through if not worse.lol.  I also
> began changing my life around for the better and for me. I discussed a
> few thing with my mother and got back in church since I was slacking
> (not your kind of slacking though.lol) I also found a new friend along
> the way. Crystal, she was not only a friend but more of a counselor.
> And I thank her for that everyday. With me missing you the way I did.
> I began to sit and wonder, what you were doing, how you were doing,
> and so on and so forth because I truly love and care about you.
> That’s what people do when they love and care about someone. They miss
> them. So I began to text you from my mothers’ phone posing as my
> mother. I’m not saying that my reason for doing it is right
> but that was my reason. I was wrong for doing it and I apologize for
> doing it. When you began to speak about my phone, I got frustrated
> because you knew I couldn’t get another phone and if I could it would
> be hard to but I was willing to do so because you deserved a new
> phone. On top of all of that my grandfather passed away. So when I
> spoke to my mom she informed me that she talked to you and let you
> know that she was not the one texting you. I was very upset and
> frustrated just as much as you. So when I called and text you my first
> instinct was to lie to you and that lie was out of fear. Fear of
> losing you. You didn’t want to hear anything I had to say which is
> understandable because you were angry frustrated and who knows what
> else.
>
> I did not tell my dad to call you. He got your number from me a while
> back when he wanted you to come look at his computer but he never
> contacted you. I was in the other room with avaline helping her with
> food when he spoke with you. I didn’t know that he was calling my
> mother a liar. After speaking to Crystal later that day I called your
> dad to see if you were anywhere around and he said that you went out
> to the movies. I called Jasmine and asked her if she wanted to ride
> with me so I could go speak to you. And that’s what she did. When you
> came out of the theater I didn’t expect things to go the way they did
> and again I apologize for your shirt.  I have a shirt on the way to
> replace that one. Since I couldn’t speak to you at the theater I went
> to Shaun’s place to speak with him. And asked him if he could ask you
> to come out and speak with me. I didn’t want to argue with you. I lied
> to you again about the texts from my mother’s phone. Because the
> next question would have been why did you do that and I didn’t want
> you to know that I missed you that much and that I would probably
> threaten trust. The whole scene of the keys I can say and will always
> say was unnecessary. I was going to give you your keys but I wasn’t
> finished speaking with you. But what hurt the most was you looking in
> my eyes and telling me, I don’t like you, I don’t love you, your a
> monster not a woman.   I understand you were upset but I was too, and
> all the way up to that point I didn’t say anything like that to you.
> When I finally handed over the keys I called you and said some things
> that blurted out because of frustration and anger as well. And I
> apologize for that 100%. I’m writing this letter not only for you but
> for me.  I’m not trying to give you a bunch of excuses but the
> truth.
> If I can’t be granted your friendship then I would like for us to be
> cordial. My mother has read this letter. So if you still not sure
> that I was given advice to write it, you know her number. By the way
> my number will be changed.  If you wish to have the number please let
> me know.
>
> Again i thank you for EVERYTHING you have done for me.  When i told
> you that you were not only my boyfriend but my friend i meant it.  its
> one thing to hope someone is their for you and its another thing to
> know someone is their for you.  I am still yet growing and maturing
> into what the Lord wants me to be.
>
> P.S. I would appreciate it if you wrote me back. You can email me on
> my email or my mothers. (medlockprice@yahoo.com) I apologize for
> everything and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me
> because I have already forgiven you.
>
> P.S.S. Deanglo and Adam said hello and something else about a video
> game. (you know i dont know) tell your mother i said hello.
>
> Love always,
> Chloe Paige price
>
>
>
>
>
> —
> Chloe Paige Price
Chloe Paige Price
Reply:chloeakacoko@gmail.com
{Living laughing loving}

 

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His break up

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Thursday, September 10, 2009

From:
Chris Gibbs
To:
chloeakacoko, vaneticorum
Date:
Jul 30
Subj:
Blogs
I read the blogs.  I couldn’t post comments, not sure why, so I figured I’d just e-mail you.  It’s good to hear you have plans to do all these things and you plan to become more independent.  Don’t let me be the only reason you are trying to do so, however.  In response to the “Reflections 3”: I find it funny how people always seem to realize some problem when the relationship is ending.  You didn’t catch any of that until we broke up or until I was already unhappy.  Also, me needing space, though I say I’m not going to discuss it, I gotta tell you, you can kill that idea.  I would never want to try to have a relationship with someone who I need a lot of space from.  I never minded you being around, I just didn’t like things you would do when you were around.  I feel like I’ve already stated this.  Maybe, not to you.  Iono.  Anyway, You being in school or you being at my apartment seven days a week, neither made a difference.  What made the difference was, “What will you do to frustrate or tick me off?”  I asked myself that far too often.  I even stopped asking and started knowing.  Anywho, Iono if you were upset or what, but, when you said you “must not know Shun”, you were correct.  If you did, you’d have caught somethings that, just maybe, would’ve been a little insightful and helpful to you figuring out why I was pretending to be happy or not bothered when I was.  Crystal may cry, but, I don’t think you two cry for the same reasons.  Also, you ask to have the bad influences removed from your life.  I laugh because that is, in a way, what God may have already been trying to do through me.  Still, you blew up at me back when I was trying to help you recognize and “take away the negative influences”.  That story you tell about the guy in the ocean who let three boats pass and asked God why he didn’t rescue him, that’s kinda the situation you put yourself in.  I try not to hold a grudge or be bitter about that, but, whatever.  I feel I have the right to be.  And, yes, that is why it pissed me off so much to hear
what you wrote to Islee that night when we got back.  That plus the fact that you were actually the only unsatisfied person with the night at of all six people who went out is just crazy.  Sorry to hear that you’re having a bad period, but, considering the stress on you with your mom, school and me, it’s not that irregular.  From my understanding, those kinda things usually cause heavy periods.  I do hope you’re okay, though.  Not sure how you take all of this, but, this is about as much detail regarding any part of the break up, or anything related to it, that I’m going to go into.  I don’t want to talk about it anymore and if you feel you’ve figured something out about why we aren’t, and won’t be, together, that’s good.  I’m not telling you you’re right or wrong nor letting you know, or hinting, about if you’re close to my reasons or not.  I’m not telling anyone, besides the ones I’ve already, why.  So, no one needs to ask.  Finally, I do understand you love me, never doubted it.  Still, I do not want to be with you while you are trying to figure yourself and life out.  I tried to stay around and support you through it, figured out I couldn’t because I stressed over it.  You may want me to watch you transform and grow, I no longer want that and can only wish you the best in whatever you do.

 

 

 

Loving me

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Sunday, September 13, 2009

Im so happy because I graduate this summer with a kinesiology major and a health and dance minor. Fucks with me.lol.

 

 

Believe

Posted by XpReSsIoNs on Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I know that when your heart is in pain and your soul cries out—-it is hard to believe.Just know that you have a beautiul Spirit and that God has a unique plan for you and your Soulmate.I Believe in God’s Miracles and I hope you do too! I believe in God… I believe we were destined to meet… I believe you are my missing rib… I believe we can achieve whatever we desire.. I believe you’re the best thing that has happened to me.. I believe I’m in love with you… I believe I love you more than you know… and most of all I believe in you.